Dear MeiGui:

That old movie “In Praise of Older Women” is forever a hit with me. Back in Minnesota, I had my fair share of fiercesome romps with the cougar-set; but after landing in Taiwan to teach English; and being besieged by so many local young hotties; I put the older-woman thing on the back shelf and forgot about it. Well, that was until recently.

So why did I go back out on the cougar hunt? Well, here’s the thing. Initially, those petite little girls with their “Hello Kitty” handbags and Pikachu T-shirts are quite adorable; but at some point all that cutesie-ness becomes too sweet — kind of like trying to drink too many cherry cola floats in a row. Who can handle that much sugar?

Anyway, I decided to target this forty-plus-plus spicy female colleague of mine. It seemed to be the usual cougar piece of cake. I barely finished throwing a few sparse compliments her way before she was treating me to dinner at a very nice high-end European restaurant in Taipei. It was all going so well until I got back to her place.

Here’s what happened. She told me to take a seat in her living room while she slipped into something more comfortable – very standard I know. I couldn’t wait to see my Taiwan cougar come strutting out in the latest red lacy “Passion” fashion outfit. The build up was mind – and other body parts — blowing.

However, to my horror, my aging wild thing burst into the living room attired in “Hello Kitty” pajamas while clutching a stuffed Pikachu doll. Next thing I know, she’s telling me that she is a good girl who never drinks or kisses boys on the first date.

Worst of all, when I tried to run, she blocked the door and started screaming that I was a “bad” man.
What the heck happened here? I am afraid to go back to work.
— Cougar Hunter

Dear Cougar Hunter;
How many sick days do you have left? Maybe it’s time to take a long vacation.
— Something things don’t cross cultures, MeiGui

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